Eliminating Toxic Masculinity

Babyment

Eliminating Toxic Masculinity

In the 21^st century, there is societal pressure on our boys to possess values such as stoicism, masculinity, athleticism, power and independence. Otherwise, if they are deemed to possess values that are judged as feminine- sensitivity, being emotional and approachable; they are judged by society to be not masculine and thus a spineless loser. How do we break this vicious cycle and unpack the baggage that society compels us to carry about as men? Boys/Men are still human beings with feelings and emotions- not just machines made out of muscles and flesh. Is masculinity really about the abovementioned superficial ideals? With accordance to the American Psychological Association, toxic masculinity suppresses the psychological development of males, constrains their behavior- resulting in gender role strain and conflicts. This would have an adverse effect on their mental well-being as well as physical health.

Let’s talk about some of the consequences of deteriorating mental-wellbeing and physical health. For starters, toxic masculinity illustrates a false exaggeration of the ideal men physique. Social media, Hollywood and magazines have constantly displayed hulking, chiseled athletes/bodybuilders on their covers and front pages. This has led to the illusion among young males that these cover models are representing the optimal and ideal male physique that can be attained by anyone. Or at least that’s what social media ‘influencers’ and fitness magazines are trying to convey.  However, these platforms have conveniently left out the reality that the majority of bodybuilders are on performance enhancement drugs or steroids and that athletes as well as actors have their own personal nutritionists, chefs and personal trainers that assist them in their fitness endeavors for considerable sums of money. While the latter option is unrealistic unless the boy/man has plenty of disposable income. As for steroids and drugs, it is pretty self-explanatory.  Most young adolescent males do not have any experience with using steroids and drugs and may fall prey to addiction before they even realize it. Moreover. Steroids and Performance Enhancement Drugs (PEDs) often have side effects regardless of the dosage. Such effects may include anger issues, acne and lack of sleep. All of these physical side effects when combined with the male’s lack of confidence in their bodies can result in deterioration of mental and physical health. Thus, it is crucial that parents highlight the reality of social media to their boys in order to educate them on social media and its illusions. In doing so, we can hope that younger generations of males will be comfortable with their bodies and pursue fitness for what its intended for- health and not to chase the so-called ‘ideal’ male physique that is promoted by the media.

Moving on, we will now talk about the pressure that toxic masculinity induces in men to suppress their feelings and to maintain a stoic façade even when in times of distress or depression. Boys will be informed by ‘masculine’ senior figures that crying is a sign of weakness and that discussing emotions is for girly ‘sissies and gays’. Such toxic slogans have been passed down from generations of males to future generations despite society’s rapid progress. For too long, society has harbored harmful gender ideas such as ‘Boys are violent while girls are well-behaved’ or ‘Boys should be competitive and alpha.’ In order to combat such flawed stereotypes, parents would have to start in the household. Firstly, parents should advocate that gendered insults or stereotypes be banned in the house. Insults such as ‘You hit like a girl’ or ‘That’s so girly’ should no longer be acceptable or used by any family member. If parents phase out gender-based negativity and discuss their irrelevance with their children, boys will mature- free of gender biases or the false notions that men should never behave like girls. It is okay for boys to cry as well. No longer should a parent chastise his child for crying when he scrapes an elbow; fails an exam paper or to fall short of something. Feelings and emotions are not exclusive to any gender and that parents should encourage their boys to not repress their feelings.

When parents reject toxic masculinity, their boys will be able to display empathy and compassion for others, and express their emotions openly under their parents’ guidance. In doing so, they will be able to accept themselves for whom they are, and are less easily influenced by social media or other undesirable external influences. It is also time for the world to provide a new definition of masculinity that is not mired in misogyny.